Monday, January 14, 2013

Where To Fit In

Don't think heaven is free
You must pay a renter’s fee
Space is hard to find cuz people stay a very long time
You want a room here?
We got 40 billion people living in a studio
Look out the window you can see hell on the horizon
God is our landlord
He never gives heat cuz heaven is cold
He says you must pay me in gold if you want to save your soul if
You’ll be sent to hell if you can't afford the rent
There are nice co ops but they’re filled with spirits rising from cemetery plots
Angels sit on the co op board and complain how recent tenants have spilled sin all over the new wall to wall carpets
Space as at a premium but we have nice time share locations
All the rich live in the projects on the south side
The poor live in beach condos
People are always moving in and bitching about why no animals are allowed in the apartments
Yes heaven is not free
What were you thinking getting a two year lease that never ever expires
And yes after 30 days you can still be evicted if you break one of the ten rules of conduct
Management reserves the right to evict any resident
Don't fall behind in your rent because every day their are  a million new tenants
Yes heaven is over crowed
The price is very high it's the only place everyone wants to go but is afraid of the expensive long hearse death ride
Hell is free everybody is accepted no discrimination.
The devil slumlord turns up the heat in the summer
There is no running water
No lights
Fights every nights
Constant break ins
No rules or regulations
The staircases are never clean
Paint peeling walls filled with lead poison
Billions of squatters live in burned out buildings
The angels are all full time arsonists
Everyday a new building is set on fire
Everybody complains
Satan says what do you expect when everything is free
5 trillion homeless sleep on the streets
Yes hell is overcrowded and all the doors are locked
It's one big prison
A list of all your sins is display proudly in full color tattoos
The inmates run the asylum
Yes Satan is the warden everyday burned rice and beans are served
There are no correction officers, no cops
Every other second another prisoner is shanked
Hell is dark and stank
The criminally insane sit on the co op board and only the worst of the worst get to live in best apartments in the basement
Yes hell is overcrowded
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