Reclusive

I like to stay home alone in my own zone
unknown
I hate the crowds and the traffic
It’s all too drastic
I'm a psychotic derelict
Tired of red tape and rhetoric
In my mind things get hectic
I turn introspective
Myopic and self-explosive
Sometimes I don’t wanna live
So I sit in my solitude
No one to intrude on my foul mood
I exclude myself
and keep myself amused
Waste my time surfing the net
At least I’m not playing Russian roulette
With a hollow point bullet
I hate to go out and face the public
sometimes I get so paranoid I want to avoid everything
Safe in the cocoon of my room
Smelling the perfume of my gloom
I sit locked up in my 10 by 12
My personal jail cell where my creativity excels
Or gets repelled by urine smell
My own little hell
I hate seeing new faces
And going places
I get trapped in my own mind
held hostage in my house
accosted by loneliness
exhausted
I hate being on the go can’t take the city’s flow
I move too slow
Want to vanish like melting snow
As I sink to a all time new low
filled with anxiety
Trying to keep my sobriety
Hating nyc
Don’t wanna perform wanna stay withdrawn
Introverted mad perverted
encapsulised and internalized
Drowning in my own demise
Covered in an expression of depression
With inward eyes
Like Columbian coke is smuggled
I stay hidden in my struggle
Being reclusive is a means to an end