Tuesday, November 24, 2009

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I called the suicide hotline a couple of times
because I was losing my mind
the guy was rude
had an attitude
I hung up and called back again
I think he didn't like it
got him again at 2am
he didn’t like the midnight shift
his attention began to drift
lots of calls to sift, he was afraid I’d end up a stiff
he wanted to stop me from ingesting a bottle of pills to kill myself
this certainly would not be good for my health
the guy on the suicide prevention line said Sir, please this is not a chat line
like my talking was wasting his time
he asked for my location
said he’d send an ambulance to my destination
get me out of the situation
I declined to say where I live
this information I would not give
he said he’d trace my number
I wondered how
did I have GPS on my phone?
I was on too much medication
Lamital Geodon Ambient and Trazadone
I got upset and nervous, I hung up the phone
would they come to get me?
I stared and stared at all my bottles of pills
Used all of my will anxiety filled
I struggled to put the bottle down
40 hours later I was found back in the psyche ward
on suicide watch 24/7 surrounded by guards and cops
Remeron and Ambient kept me chilling
I stayed on the ward for 9 short days
broke me out of my depression phase
hopeful to begin new ways
a new phrase in a new stage


  1. I am so sorry about your experience.My brother commited suicide five years ago,after two prior attempts.He had hung himself,and wasn't discovered for hours.He was a brilliant poet/writer/family man.Our family suffered a lot because of his decision,but we will always treasure our memories and will love and miss him forever!I wish your experience at the hospital was a more positive one.Never give up,as life Is so precious!I have found support groups to be helpful.I hope you receive a lot of support from your friends!

  2. Very sorry to hear you actually tried to commit suicide. Have good friends around - that's a good way to live life.


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